


The Strange Case of Dr Moreau

by CynicalGinger



Series: Strange Case AU [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Meet-Cute, Mild Gore, Romance, gore is not the main focus at any point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-12 04:27:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11154222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynicalGinger/pseuds/CynicalGinger
Summary: A twist of fate brings Taako and Kravitz to the right place, at the right time.





	The Strange Case of Dr Moreau

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a TAZ AU a friend and I came up with. Kravitz and Raven are pathologists working for law enforcement, Taako and Lup work for Istus in her cafe, and the others are around doing their own stuff. They're all friends but that's a story for another day if I ever have the time and motivation to write it.

Kravitz had assumed Raven's texts about being dead were either an example of her stellar humour or a complaint about being served a box of human remains that could be better identified as chunks for the second time that week. ("CHUNKS. _Chunks,_ Kravitz! What the hell are we supposed to do with this? Yes officers, he's definitely dead. Consistent with being pushed into a meat grinder, like you suspected.")

Upon arriving at work and realising that no, Raven was genuinely ill, and yes, there was indeed another box of meaty remains waiting for him, Kravitz made his excuses as quickly as possible and took his lunch break early. Raven had the luck of living only a few minutes walk from work, so Kravitz grabbed soup from the cafe on his way over and hurried to Raven's home. Internally he bemoaned the chance to have a steak sandwich, or to see that cute chef come barista who hung around the café sometimes, but there were more pressing matters. Raven getting food she could digest was definitely more important than steak and a guy with a nice smile.  He fumbled for his key before realising that the door was already open, creaking judgmentally at him as he walked past the hallway and into the living room.

Raven and her duvet had migrated to the sofa, where she was curled in a ball making unhappy noises. As soon as she heard Kravitz approach, Raven peeked out from under the covers. Her usually immaculate face was blotchy and drawn, and Kravitz had to suppress the urge to hug her. He didn't need to catch whatever she had. “I brought your favourite,” he said by way of greeting.

“Oh Kravitz.” Raven propped herself up. “My darling Dr Moreau, I am forever in your debt. Name your boon.” She sighed happily as she drank the coconut and lentil soup. “I hope you haven't been too overworked in my absence.”

Kravitz made a face. “It's hardly your fault you got sick. No, things are mostly quiet. We have more… chunks, but not much else.”

“You know what, I take it back. I'm glad this horrible illness has wrecked me. You can deal with that nonsense.” She said.

Kravitz chuckled. “I had a feeling you would change your mind.”

“Yes, well.” Raven said. “As much as I don't regret missing that, I am very disappointed that I have to cancel my plans for this evening. I was supposed to be going to the opening of that new gallery.” Raven sounded wistful as she continued, “my dear, they have free wine and food. I was so looking forward to ignoring the dreadful artwork and sampling the fare.”

 “That does sound amazing.” Kravitz couldn't remember the last time he had been to an event like that. More importantly, he couldn't remember the last time he had gone anywhere with unlimited drinks and fancy cheeses.

Raven perked up visibly at Kravitz's agreement. “Precisely. I don't suppose you're free after work? It would be a shame to miss this, after all.”

“You know I have nothing on. Sure, I'll take the ticket.”

“Wonderful!” Raven snuggled back into her duvet. “It's on the mantelpiece. Do be gentle when you shut the door on your way out.”

As Kravitz tucked the ticket into his pocket, he felt a glimmer of excitement at the prospect of this unexpected turn of events. He deserved some time off, and he was hardly going to refuse Raven, but he hadn't been out properly in a shockingly long time. Between work and… well, work, he had found himself too busy and too tired to make plans outside of work and stick to them. Corpses and tissue and chunks were a poor substitute for interaction with people.

 

_

 

"Hey Taako, would you mind coming through for a sec?"

Taako finished drying his hands and went through the front to help Istus serve a customer. Some guy had just ordered a a LOT of coffees, each one with a different syrup and topping combination. Working with the coffee machine on a long stream of orders was easy, if he didn't think about what he was doing. It had been a long time since Taako had been forced to think about what he was doing, and today was no exception. Losing himself in a familiar rhythm, flipping the syrup bottles way more than was strictly necessary, switching from frothy whole milk to soy to almond…

With the orders completed flawlessly and Istus relieved, Taako hung back. He had already done most of his work in the kitchen, and there was no rush to get back. “That was a nice rush. It's been pretty quiet today.” He said.

 “Yes, it was getting pretty dull out here.” Istus was her usual smiling self, though she was drumming her fingers against the counter absent mindedly. “I don't think I'll need you to stay later tonight anymore, I can close up.”

“Uh, not to complain about getting out of a favour, but what gives? I thought you were going to that fancy gallery opening."

 Istus chuckled. “Oh, my date for tonight got sick and I don't feel right going alone. It wouldn't be the same.”

“Nah, but you could still go for the food.”

“Honestly, I was going for the company more than the food or art.” Istus thought for a moment, then said, “you know Taako… if you want to go in my place, there's still that spare ticket. Just the one, but you could get some enjoyment out of it.”

 “Sweet.”

Off work earlier than expected AND a party? Okay, so it was a gallery opening. Taako hadn't had an actual night out in a long time. Between working shifts at A Long Yarn and spending quality time watching Angus every week, Taako hadn't found the time to get smashed in forever. And here Istus was, handing him the chance on a platter. Who was he to refuse? Especially when it got him out of shutting the shop and locking up. “What’s the dress code for this thing anyway?”

“Smart-casual. It's one of those trendy new places. Modern.”

“I think I can manage that.” Somewhere in Taako's wardrobe there was a flirty skirt and crop top combo just waiting to dazzle the unsuspecting onlookers as he drank and ate his weight in high class free grub.

 

 _

 

The gallery was better than Istus had promised. Clad in a sparkly purple skirt and a cute black crop top with long, artfully ripped sleeves, Taako knew he looked cute as all hell. Cute enough that nobody seemed to care that he ignored most of the artwork and went straight for the wine and mini pizzas. Those things were AMAZING. Someone had splashed out on truffle hidden in the sauce. There were little tiny crackers with some kind of cream and caviar, and tiny, delicate pastries with fruits and meat, and a platter of meats and fancy cheeses, and oh god, there were nibbles that looked like an all in one turkey dinner, beside the mountain of dumplings…

Everything Taako tried was good. He could complain about minor details, but hey, the rich guy throwing this shindig didn't have to know food. That was what rich people had money for. To pay someone else to know stuff. And do everything. And Taako was going to have another of those mini pizzas, because they were that good. Or he was that drunk. Whichever.

As the host made an appearance (lord someone or other, Taako didn't really care) he had eaten a fair chunk of the buffet and had secreted a bunch of food over to a table partially hidden. As he was enjoying one of the small caviar-studded rounds of filo pastry, one of the gallery-owner's attendants came over to Taako. "Excuse me, sir? You're eating the buffet. I mean, a lot of it. If you could maybe slow down a bit there, that would be-"

"Oh yeah hi, I was looking for someone I could talk to about the food." Taako lied. "Listen, I know this probably isn't your area but the beef wellington pastries? Mad dry, and overcooked. And the stuff they put the caviar on, my guy that's just super cheap cream cheese. Like take the cheapest stuff you can find, I'm talking worse than Fantasy Costco bad here, and whip it up? Yeah, that's basically what this is, except then they added olive oil and some parsley. I mean really? You have _caviar_ and the next thought to go through your mind is 'yeah I'm gonna skimp on everything else'. Wh-what kind of person do you have to _be_ , y'know?"

 The poor attendant looked way, way out of their depth. "Um. Yes. Yes sir, I… I'll… see that Lord Sterling knows, ah… please excuse me, I think I hear someone needing a thing."

Taako smirked as the attendant left, and crammed a whole bunch of everything into his mouth, mostly because it was delicious but also because he had to assert dominance _somehow_. He also took a moment to look around the place. This place. The gallery. That one. It was really nice as well. Taako was on his second bottle of wine before he decided to take a look around the actual gallery itself instead of raiding the food table. Some of the art was the usual stuff, traditional watercolours and acrylics of inoffensive subjects. Flowers, scenic landscapes, bridges, boats, naked elves cavorting around a fire. Normal stuff. Then there were things that seemed to stand out, like the carved masks hanging beside the statue of Pan (which looked like it had been chiselled from emerald) and a massive hand sewn tapestry of a gruesome murder scene.

The tapestry took pride of place. It covered a whole wall, and several suitably artsy people were clustering round it, saying things like 'the stitching on the guts is just _wonderful_ ,' and, 'symbolic destruction of societal norms! Marvellous!' Art People, Taako thought, were so weird. It was guts. And thread. There wasn't anything hidden away in the meaning. Someone made a weird piece of art. Making weird art was like, number three on the list of stuff artists were supposed to do. After a while you just had to accept it as part of a routine.

The majority of the cluster of Art People moved on from the tapestry, save one guy. Taako sidled up to him, thankful that he had opted for flats instead of some mad gladiator heels. He would've looked stunning, but stunning was kind of just what Taako did and in flats he wasn't at risk of falling over. Yet. The wine glasses here held a lot. And Taako was working his way through them like a pro. Anyway, it was easier to look at the art with only one other person there. He was kind of distracting though. Out of the corner of his eye, Taaco could see that he had dark skin and fabulous locs tied up in a bun. His suit was sharp, crisp, and black, offset with a lavender shirt and… was that a matching pocket square? Oh man. Nice, Taako thought. He nodded approvingly and turned to compliment the guy on his attire, which was when he got a chance to look at the guy properly.

"Oh, it's you!" The man turned around, startled, and Taako grinned. "It is you! Hell yeah! You're the guy from the cafe. Rare steak sandwich with fried onion, right?"

"Do you remember all of your customers' orders?" The Cute Cafe Guy asked.

"Nah, just the freaky ones." Taako laughed at the man's confused expression. "Don't worry, it's just you and your… friend? You come in and talk about like murder and guts and some really spooky serial killer shit while eating rare steak. A bunch of us figured you were killing people. Or killing and eating. Y’know."

"I…” The Cute Café Guy gaped at Taako, “You thought we were killing people… and _nobody_ did anything about that?"

Laughter had gripped Taako and apparently wasn't up for letting go. He could barely say, "I mean… you tipped well, so no? If you were a lousy tipper maybe." He straightened up and looked at this beautiful not quite a stranger, whose mouth was still agape. "I mean, are you actually killing people? Because if so, you guys are really bad at keeping that under wraps. Might wanna not do that."

Cute Cafe Guy's face looked like it was getting hot. Or maybe Taako could just feel the heat coming off of him. Or maybe Taako was just getting really, really, really smashed and had lost the ability to tell anything. "Oh god." Cute Cafe Guy groaned. "I didn't actually think any of you were paying attention. It didn't really occur to us to stop talking about work."

"Ah-hah!" Taako pounced on this. "You _do_ have a murder job!"

"Well, kind of. I do the after-death parts."

"So you're a necromancer?"

"What? No!"

"An undertaker?"

"Not quite."

"A reaper!"

"No!" Cute Cafe Guy looked comically frustrated and amused by Taako's guessing. "I'm a pathologist. So's Raven. Uh, the woman I eat lunch with. She’s my boss. We find out what killed people and try to rule out causes of death."

"Aw man. That is way less weird than I was expecting." Taako couldn't bring himself to be dejected. The serial killer was actually a really hot guy with killer style _and_ a job. A good job. Pathologosts had to become doctors first, right? "Thanks to your helpful intervention, I am now in line to win the betting pool."

"Glad to be of service." Cute Cafe Guy smiled at Taako and for a moment, Taako felt his insides melt. "My name is Kravitz, by the way."

"Cute. I'm Taako." Said Taako.

"I know, I see you every week."

"See, that's where you're wrong my guy." Taako said. "You have, up until now, seen my nametag and handsome, but very tired, work me. I could be called Jimothy or something dumb like that. My name is Taako, and this is what I look like when I'm not work-me."

There was a point in there, an important point about who Taako was and was not, about who Kravitz had seen and what he was seeing now. It was important, it was important to Taako that Kravitz understood whatever it was he was trying to say. Mostly that he wasn't always the tired, hard-working cafe chef. Cafe Taako could have made some better points, but Drunk Taako was at the wheel and nobody else was getting a shot at it.

"You're right, that was a bit presumptuous." Kravitz stuck his hand out. "It's nice to meet you, Taako."

Taako shook his hand. "Likewise, hot stuff." He held on for just a moment too long, except Kravitz was holding on as well and it was past the point of awkward and into a realm of 'oh this is really nice and he's really pretty and my heart is too big for my chest'.

They did let go, Taako sheepishly pulling his hand away first and feeling kind of embarrassed about the whole thing. "Uh... ignore me, I'm pretty drunk. Sorry if I, uh, came on too… y'know."

"Oh no!" Kravitz said, a bit too quickly. "No, not at all. I'm, ah, I'm really. I'm happy to see you here. You know, in a place that isn't your work. I mean… no, you're not too… you're good."

Taako hid his grin by swallowing more wine. "Good to hear. Well Kravitz," he said, drawing out the sound of this beautiful man's name, "we could stand here like idiots, or we could grab more food and wine from the buffet and hide in a handy nook I found like idiots. Wanna come with?"

"Definitely." Kravitz went along with Taako grabbing his hand and dragging him across the gallery, and if Sober Taako was able to remember anything clearly about that night, it was the feeling of intense joy Kravitz holding his hand and not letting go.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, comments and kudos are my lifeblood and I appreciate them very much.


End file.
